Self-Confidence: The Remarkable Truth of Why a Small Change Can Make a Big Difference

excerpt

Why Self - Confidence Is the X - Factor for Life

You’re about to discover

The long-term impact confidence can have on your life.
Why a small change can make a big difference.
Why everyone benefits from an increase in self-confidence.
The real upsides of increasing your self-confidence.

What ’ s the Big Deal about Confidence?

If you were to meet the film actor Tom Cruise, there are
probably several things you would notice about him:

His smile.
His eyes.
And probably his height.

He’s 5 feet 7 inches (or 170 cm). Some people regard that as being a little on the small side. In some cultures Tom’s height would make him below average in height for a man.

Now imagine this. What if Tom Cruise increased his height by 10 percent? Not a huge amount is it?

So what’s the outcome?

Well, suddenly Tom goes from being 5 foot 7 inches to being over 6 feet 1 inch (185 cm). He goes from below average height to above average height. He goes from being seen as small to being seen as tall.

And how much did he increase his height by?

10 percent. That’s all.

A small change can make a big difference.

The bad news for Tom is that although he can try and appear to be taller than he actually is, the truth is there’s not really a lot he can do about his height.

But as you may have gathered, this isn’t a book about how tall you are, it’s about increasing your self - confidence. And whereas there’s not much you can do about your height, there’s plenty you can do to increase your confidence.

What happens if you ignore all the advice in this book? What if you don’t take steps to increase your self-confidence? Is it really such a big deal?

Well actually, yes.

As you’re about to find out.

Imagine the scene. You’re reading a job advert. It sounds like a great opportunity. You’re ideally suited to the job. Well, almost. There’s one area of experience that you lack. You focus on this one area.

Then the internal chatter begins.

“There’ll clearly be others who apply who are more suitable than me. If only I had more experience. Mind you, I’d hate to be at an interview and get exposed due to my lack of knowledge. Anyway, there’ll be hundreds of applicants and my CV is out of date. I’ll leave it for now.”

Imagine the scene. Your boss is keen for either you or your colleague to make a short presentation at the annual company conference. It’s being held in Paris this year and it would be a brilliant opportunity to make a name for yourself and raise your profile within the company.

Then the internal chatter begins.

“I hate making presentations. All those people looking at me. I’d be awful with my nerves. What would I say? I don’t want to look like a fool in front of all my colleagues – I’d never live down the embarrassment. Sam’s really good at presentations, nothing seems to faze her. I guess she’ll be the one that gets all the glory. Never mind, these conferences are always a good laugh – and they usually have a free bar on the last night.”

Imagine the scene. You’re at the pub. You and a group of mates have hooked up with a few friends you knew from college. Lisa catches your eye. You’ve always liked her, but it’s been a while since you last saw each other. There’s a definite attraction. Lisa looks in your direction and smiles.

Then the internal chatter begins.

“She’s way out of my league. She used to go out with Martin. Why would she be interested in me? OK, so she’s smiling at me. She’s probably just being friendly. I bet she feels sorry for me. I couldn’t ask her out. No way. What if she turned me down? I’d never hear the last of it from my mates. Think I’ll leave it this time.”

So you don’t apply for the job. You don’t make the presentation. You don’t ask the person out on a date.

Has your world ended? No. Are you a failure? No. Will it now be impossible to live a fulfilled life? No.

But be honest. Would a little more self-confidence have helped? I’m not talking about arrogance, brashness or becoming a raving extrovert. I’m talking about confidence. That sense of being OK about yourself. That awareness that it’s OK to fail. That understanding that rejection doesn’t mean the end of the world.

The truth is … We could all benefit from a small increase in self-confidence.

A 10 percent increase could make all the difference.

It means you might have gone for the job. It means you might have made the presentation. It means you might have embarked on a romantic relationship.